what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
