.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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