I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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