When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
