Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
