Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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