Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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