I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
