apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
