Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Sorry my hands just texted you
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
