can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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