Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
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