420 ftw
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize