Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Randomize
