I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Randomize
