what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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