Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
