that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I need water and some morals
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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