note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
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