Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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