Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
