We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
