God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
