This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
