No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
