SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
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