Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
