That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Randomize
