I hate all girls vehemently.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
