I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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