oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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