im about as happy as oj after his trial
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
