No stitches, just platelets and will power
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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