hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
