Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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