What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
