There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
