I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
