drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
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