Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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