Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
A bitchslap is in order.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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