All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Randomize
