Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
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