There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
