Screwed.edu
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
