oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
