My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
