we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
