glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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