I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Randomize
